Worst Albums of 2012

Light-AsylumThis has become another annual tradition and usually my most popular post of the year. When you listen to as much music as I do you’re bound to run across some bad with the good. I tried to keep the list focused on the truly awful this year and skipped easy targets from lists past like Kreayshawn (Is there a person alive who listened to this twice?), WZRD (Kid Cudi getting even more emo + guitars!), Diplo (How many artists can I jack? How many cultures can I rob?), BANKS (Stick to Interpol reissues or go write a novel). There was a real battle at the top, for much of the year A$AP Mob and Animal Collective seemed like locks to battle for the crown but then there was Light Asylum… It only took a single listen for me to instant-delete their album from my library but somehow they got booked to open for Matthew Dear (ironically holding the top spot on my Best of 2012 list). At first I looked at my wife and our friend Staxx and burst out laughing. However that joke didn’t last much past one song as we had to suffer through the rest of their set sending them racing to #1 with a bullet. I honestly cannot imagine a single setting where that music would sound good or the person that would enjoy it but I’m sure they’re out there, music is subjective and this list proves it. Here are the records I could have lived without + a few honorable mentions kept concise with Twitter’s 140 character constraints:

  1. Light Asylum – Atonal apocalypse music from ultra odd couple was an audio assault/insult. “Skull Fuct” is how you will feel at song’s end #10Worst
  2. Passion Pit Gossamer – Started out as a novelty blog band but have now proved they can be just as bad as the worst radio pop dreck #10Worst
  3. A$AP Mob – A$AP Rocky is dope but his crew of no-talent nobodies is not the next Wu-Tang just drugged up thugs on the payroll #10Worst
  4. Animal Collective Centipede Hz – Showed MPP was a fluke, at heart they’re freak folk bros who make LSD bonfire music for rave hippies #10Worst
  5. Best Coast – BC delved deep into her 7th grade notebook for gems like “My mom was right/I don’t wanna die/I wanna live my life” #10Worst
  6. French Montana Mac & Cheese 3 Shortbus rapper made 2Chainz look like a Rhodes Scholar with his microwave Velveeta  lyrics #10Worst
  7. Pop Etc. – The Morning Benders made my 2010 Best so I’m not sure wtf led to this sad collection of rejected Justin Timberlake demos #10Worst
  8. The Shins Port of Morrow – Have slowly become NPR mood music for content white people and as clichéd as their Hallmark lyrics #10Worst
  9. Crystal Castles III – You can’t sample Nintendo games forever and I’m sure the goth ravers love it but this is just miserable music #10Worst
  10. Death Grips – When your album cover = a cock w the title Sharpied on the tip I don’t need to listen to your music to know you suck #10Worst #10Worst

Honorable Mentions:
G.O.O.D. Music Cruel Summer – Only MERCY & Clique (FIRE!) saved this one. Should we blame Kim K for this new Vegas/Dubai-era Kanye? Either way he sux #10Worst

– Grimes/Bat For Lashes – Overhyped to death and finding the talent or appeal within these bratty chalkboard shrieks remains a mystery to me.

– J Dilla Rebirth of Detroit – Please say this will be the last time someone markets a Dilla album as “new” and let this man and his legendary legacy rest in peace.


One thought on “Worst Albums of 2012

  1. Fast Action says:

    […] Noe – Irreversible) teamed up with Animal Collective to direct a video for a lowlight from my 2012 Worst Albums list well, curiosity got the better of me. The bar for bad was set pretty high (low?) here but […]

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